i just thought you should know

i'm sorry.

i'm sorry i speak before i think. i'm sorry i hold it all in and let it out all at once. i'm sorry i talk more than i should. i'm sorry you think you can't trust me. i'm sorry you are upset because of me. i'm sorry i care. i'm sorry i let you get the best of me before i should have. i'm sorry didn't say it back. i'm sorry i talked behind your back. i'm sorry i lied. to your face.

i'm sorry i'm real. i'm sorry i don't wear tons of make up. i will when i want to and i don't like to so that is RARE. i'm sorry that i'm not going to yell at someone unless they really REALLY piss me off. it's not in my nature. i'm sorry i'm not stick thin like her. i'm sorry i have curves. it won't all disappear so i can be unhealthy looking like her. i'm sorry i stay in shape. i'm sorry that i ask retarded questions.

^^^
this post was never finished, so here it is in draft form. it was what i felt on that date, at that time, in that moment. i will never know what i meant to say, what emotions i felt. therefore, i am posting this as a glimse into the past. into the kara from before. into the kara to some extent of which i still am. 11/3/2007